{"id":22981,"date":"2021-07-19T10:06:03","date_gmt":"2021-07-19T10:06:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/?p=22981"},"modified":"2024-07-11T11:10:11","modified_gmt":"2024-07-11T11:10:11","slug":"relationships-where-do-we-go-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/?p=22981","title":{"rendered":"Relationships – where do we go wrong?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
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The Cambridge English Dictionary defines the word \u2018relationship\u2019 as \u201cthe way in which two things are connected\u201d. Connection is the number one driver in life \u2013 just like a newborn baby, we require connection to survive and thrive. More than ever, due to the long-haul of Covid-19, we are deprived of connection and as a result are grappling with survival.<\/p>\n

If we look to nature, it teaches us the power and necessity of connection and relationship. We see this in the duality that exists all around us. Day and Night. Masculine and Feminine. Life and Death. Inhale and Exhale. Either cannot exist without the other.<\/p>\n

Let us stop for a practical exercise:
\nBreathe in deeply and hold it for 30 seconds.<\/em>\u00a0Do you feel the need to breathe out eventually?<\/p>\n

Now take a breath in and then a full breath out \u2013 holding your out breath or exhale for 30 seconds<\/em>. Do you feel a need to breathe in and get some air?
\nBoth play a pivotal role \u2013 one no more important than the other. The connection of both is required to sustain life and equilibrium.<\/p>\n

As I research the topic of relationships \u2013 three main themes keep arising:<\/p>\n

1) The ability to hold both – The good with the bad – The bad with the good. Realizing we can only recognize the good because we know the bad and vice versa. Thus, in accepting the ebb and flow of the connection as vital, we can then honour the experiences in our relationships \u2013 good or bad – as they are and as a necessity;<\/p>\n

2) Ownership \u2013 the importance of taking ownership of our own participation in the dysfunction of the relationship. It is easier to point at the other, however it is important to ask \u2013 how do I perpetuate the paradigm?;<\/p>\n

3) Our relationship difficulties are not what cause us destruction \u2013 but it is rather a symbol or sign of an already shattered world inside of us. Often, a negative emotion, discomfort or thought is a sign that we are avoiding our responsibility for ourselves. It is a push to build a relationship and connection, with self.\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n\n\n\n
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Science\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>on:\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe Psychology of Compatibility”<\/em><\/strong><\/u><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\nWatch Mel Robbins interview a relationship expert on the compatibility of couples …\n<\/div>\n
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This month\u2019s challenge:<\/em><\/strong><\/u><\/p>\n
Dr Shefali, a well-renowned Clinical Psychologist and Wisdom Teacher cites the 5 mistakes we make in relationships. As I list these below, ask yourself how you might be falling trap to each or some of these mistakes in a relationship\/ relationships in your life. Note, these could be romantic relationships, friendships, relationships with your children or professional ones.<\/div>\n
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  1. Ownership or Possession \u2013 (Owner Love)<\/u><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    Where\/ how do I try own the other as mine or my possession?<\/div>\n
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    1. Control or Fear \u2013 (Attachment Love)<\/u><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
      Because of fear of losing ownership we move into control. Where\/ how do I expect the other to do things as I say or want out of fear \u2013 depriving them of being who they authentically are?<\/div>\n
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      1. Expectations and Fantasies \u2013 (Fantasy Love)<\/u><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
        Where\/ how do I sit in the trap of \u201cOne day … If \u2026 then \u2026\u201d or the notion that we can change the other?<\/div>\n
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        1. Completion of Holes \u2013 (Dependent or Needy Love)<\/u><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
          Where\/ how do I allow my inner wounds or holes to be treated or fulfilled by others? Placing the pressure on someone else to fill my needs or missing parts?<\/div>\n
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          1. Protection of Self \u2013 (Narcissistic Love)<\/u><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
            Where\/ how am I projecting my ideals onto the other and leaving no room for there to be any other way?\n<\/div>\n
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            Supercharge the challenge:<\/em><\/strong><\/u><\/p>\n

            \nOnce you have identified where and how you have fallen into the 5 relationship mistakes – grab your journal and now reflect on one action item you can commit to working on or doing differently – to \u2018own your part\u2019 in each of the 5 areas.<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            The Cambridge English Dictionary defines the word \u2018relationship\u2019 as \u201cthe way in which two things are connected\u201d. Connection is the number one driver in life \u2013 just like a newborn baby, we require connection to survive and thrive. More than ever, due to the long-haul of Covid-19, we are deprived of connection and as a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22983,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-conscious-living"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22981"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22981"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22984,"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22981\/revisions\/22984"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22983"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/versionx.bronwynrusso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}